This same society also has a knack for labeling people, and
people tend to identify each other by the labels put on them. Sometimes we do
it consciously and intentionally, other times unconsciously, due to what has rubbed
off on us from each other. The labels are either influenced by physical
appearance, academic qualifications, career titles, tribe, race, material stuff
owned etc We find ourselves referring to each other as “The fat gal, the bank
manager, the PhD holder, the one with thick eyebrows, the one who drives a BMW,
the one who owns the group of schools, the doctor/lawyer/pilot…” etc Y’all know
how you describe/call your friends or other people you’ve met. I remember in
high school there is a girl (a good friend of mine) that was more full figured
than the rest of us, hence someone started calling her ‘Fatso’ and the name
stuck, that some people didn’t know her real name by the time we cleared high
school. The labeling went on to teachers (there are some whose real names I
still do not know!) It is sad that most of us have no clue that we’re carrying
labels with us and that we’ve allowed these labels to define us and influence
how we live life. We’ve all labeled people! (Oh, don’t you roll you eyes at me,
you know it’s true)
Like I mentioned in my blog I ‘Shut it down’, I grew up, being compared to my elder sister who
was good at everything she did. And because of that I developed a poor self
image and labeled myself ‘Not good enough’.
With that kind of a label, it became hard for me to try out new things that
required an input on my part, as I was afraid of failing and being compared to
everyone else. I never participated in board games, sports or talent shows/anything
that required a solo performance. I actually played monopoly for the first time
in 2012 because it was compulsory in one of the courses we did at the school
of ministry!
(Note to the awesome man in my life: This is probably why I
hate hiking)
I disqualified myself from any opportunity that seemed
challenging or intimidating. I remember immediately after high school my pal
and I found a cyber that was owned by Christians, one of whom is now a well
know Kenyan gospel artist- Mbuvi. Adjacent to it was Robert Kamanzi’s (R-Kay) studio-a
well known Kenyan music producer. Many local celebrities, mostly music artistes,
came to this cyber and we became good friends (still good friends with most). I
had a shot at recording my music, or working with some of these artists (oh
yeah, I love singing- but I think I’ve already mentioned this in one of the
previous blogs), but was too afraid I wasn’t good enough or that I’d be
compared to the rest of them, so I made sure no one knew I could sing. Later when
I joined theatre, a pal of mine heard me singing to myself during rehearsals
and took me for an audition at his friend, Ted Josiah’s studio (back then Ted
was the best producer in Kenya). I didn’t know I was going for an audition, I
thought I was taking him to make an enquiry until Ted told me to sing, in the
presence of another producer (can’t remember his name-from mandugu digital) and
one of the known artists (Didge). My heart jumped to my throat, I thought I’d
choke, but managed to sing two songs as the guy from Mandugu digital played
along on the keyboard. They all said I sang well and was told to go back
another day, but I never did. I told myself they were just being polite, and I
wasn’t that good. I then shut down the whole wanting to sing thing. Then while
I was in Dubai, I decided I was finally going to work on my music, and so I
looked for a vocal coach, found one, and we spoke on phone and agreed on the
charges and days. A few days before the day we’d agreed I’d start my classes
with her, I saw her name on a poster. She is a known jazz artist who was named
as one of the people who’d be performing at the Dubai International Jazz
festival. Instead of being excited that I’d get to learn from a professional (Lisa
Hugo), I got intimidated and didn’t show up for lessons. When she called to
find out what had happened, I lied and said I wouldn’t make it because of work,
and that I’d get back to her on rescheduling (which I sadly never did). You can
read my blog ‘watch your mouth’ to
find out what else this label did to me.
Maybe it’s something that started off as a nickname, like
for my pal or it’s a label you put on yourself, like for me, or a label put on
you by other; Either way you need to identify how you view/label yourself. In
my previous blog, I mentioned that the lens you view through is very important
as it influences how you see yourself, and how you live life in relation to
what you see. As you can see in my story, I missed many awesome opportunities
because of the label I’d put on myself. The label brought with it fear,
self-defeating thoughts and patterns, poor self image and low self esteem,
inferiority complex, anxiety, procrastination etc.
It’s easy to get lost in all these labels that you forget or
become unaware of who you really are. Someone just yesterday told me that they
need to find themselves, and heal their heart. And I know there are many like
my friend who are searching for themselves. Like I said in my blogs ‘Jesus the righteous Judge’ and ‘Prepare for surgery’, it is possible to
get out of these wounding labels, but it’s a painful process that you have to
commit to. For me it’s been a gradual ongoing process that has brought me to
even being able to share my stories with you. I still catch myself declining
from opportunities, and when I do, I talk myself into taking them head on, by
reminding myself who God says I am. Sometimes God just sends the right people
to push me to my full potential in reminding me who I am and what I carry, and
by doing that, I have been overcoming the fears I had, one by one.
To know how to get out of these
wounding/scarring labels, I recommend you read ‘A cry for Justice’ by Shelley Hundley, or download for free,
messages dubbed ‘Wounded Lions need
healing’ by the Joshua Generation ministerial team on www.thejoshuagenerationtrust.org,
then click on resources. For those who listened to the older messages that were
done I think in 2009, know there are fresh ones (from end of last year and
still ongoing) under the same title that carry an even deeper revelation.
There is power in knowing who God says you are. When you
know your identity, you walk with a certain clout and confidence that nothing
anyone says (no bad labels) can affect you and no one can trample over you. You
also become aware of what you are entitled to-your inheritance in God.
If you’ve watched ‘Gossip Girl’ you are familiar with the
character ‘Chuck Bass. In many cases when the guy is asked a question or he
wants to be given access to something he says “I’m Chuck Bass”, in this
confident tone that no one says “No” to him. He carries such a clout that just by watching you want to be as confident as he is, in your own identity. This line is actually very famous! I’m not saying we walk in pride
and arrogance, telling everyone who we are or asking “Don’t you know who I am?”
the clout am talking about here is the God-given confidence that enables you to
establish your God-given purpose without compromising or being afraid. Like Jesus,
that people asked “Who is this that speaks with such authority?”
Sometimes we fear that when we live out our God-given
identity, we’ll outshine others. The famous quote from the ‘Coach Carter’ movie
says it best. But I’ll quote Maryanne Williamson’s version. She says:
“Our deepest fear
is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond
measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask
ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually,
who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not
serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children
do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not
just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own
fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
{Coach Cater is an
awesome movie that everyone needs to watch and own a copy. If you’ve already
watched it, watch it again with a different perspective. And also read Maryanne
Williamson’s awesome book ‘A return to
love: Reflections on the principles of a course in miracles’}
We’ve all been called to shine, but not so we can show off/
intimidate others but so that God’s name can be glorified. {Matthew 5:16}
Many of us enjoy and love singing ‘I know who I am’ by
Sinach or ‘I Know who I am’ and ‘I am a friend of God by Israel Houghton. But do
we really know who we are???? Are you really a friend of God - As in do you
know this from revelation or is it just head knowledge????
Comments
Post a Comment