MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!

I did not want to write this blog post, as in this particular topic, hence why it’s taken me a while to post it. A few days ago God impressed in my heart to share, but I did not want to, as it means being vulnerable in sharing my story. I even tried writing about something else, but God would only have me writing about this, today. So since I do this for His glory and not for me, I pray that this will not only encourage but also deeply bless someone. Here goes….

Have you ever been in a season where you’ve been asked a series of questions that you have no answer to? I myself have been guilty of asking them. Questions like:

When will you get married? Why don’t you guys start trying for a baby, what are you waiting for? When will you move out of home? Why aren’t you dating someone? What is your plan for generating income? Why are you so slender/fat? Etc.

Since it is human nature to try and find meaning/an answer for everything, these questions are then followed by comments and suggestions. Some of the people mean well, while others are just plain mean and scornful.

Depending on your situation, the follow up comments sound something like this:

1.       You’re too picky, remember you’re not getting any younger;

2.      Maybe she/he’s not the one for you, that’s why this is happening;

3.      Your womb will develop issues if you guys don’t start trying for a baby;

4.      Maybe you should just adopt;

5.      You should go to a certain pastor for prayer and deliverance over your situation;

6.      Maybe you’re not praying and fasting enough or maybe you need to repent;

7.      Maybe God is punishing you or teaching you a lesson;

8.      Maybe witchcraft or generational curses are in operation in your life. You need to break the invisible barriers;

9.      Waiting on God doesn’t make sense, you should just leave the house and go look for something to do because God helps those who help themselves;

10.   I don’t think God meant that you should just wait, you need to apply wisdom;

11.    You should work smart if you want your business to work;

12.   Maybe you should go to India for treatment, have you tried doctor so and so?  And the list goes on and on….

Why can’t we all just mind our own business!

 

When will you get married? When is your wedding?  These are some of the questions I have lately had to answer over and over that it has become painstakingly irritating. But as irritating as this has been, it’s not what I want to share today.

If you’ve been reading my past blogs (esp. ‘God’s got jokes’), then you’re aware that I’ve been called into ministry, and that I quit my job to pursue God’s will. This has come with challenges that I can’t even begin to put in words.

Immediately I landed in Kenya in December 2010, there were all these questions about why I quit, whether God had really spoken or I was acting out emotionally, what plans did I have for generating income now that I had quit, was I crazy, what kind of a God would instruct someone to quit their job without a plan B, what will school of ministry do for me-will they ordain me as a pastor? Etc. These questions came mostly from my family-immediate and extended.

By then I hadn’t figured much out so the questions created in me, unnecessary pressure. In my human wisdom, I moved out of home and began sending out my résumé to as many companies as possible, as well as to friends, to help me look for a job. My moving out went badly (you can read about it in my previous blog ‘Who’z idea’) and so did my job hunting-nothing came through.

Then God spoke to me and instructed me to head back home and stop looking for a job, as He had another plan for me. I moved back in with my folks but kept looking for a job. Many opportunities came by, from big and small companies, but there was always a hindrance. I’d go for interviews, pass, be told when I was to begin, but when the day came, the offer was withdrawn. It was so frustrating! People kept asking me if I’d gotten a job and what was happening, but I had no answer. Very hurtful comments were then made, and many were the days I would smile during the day and cry on my pillow throughout the night, asking God why he had forsaken me.

This went on for a while as I still kept praying and asking God for direction. Then God again told me that He was the one who had blocked my being employed, as He has set me apart for His work. Imagine my frustration! And who could I even tell? No one would understand! I sought counsel from pastors, born again friends and family members, and these were some of the people who have hurt me most with their smart comments and suggestions. I then resolved to withdraw from these people and just stick with God, for He alone knows His plan for me (if I’ve been avoiding you, now you know why). I decided it is better to stick with people who speak life into my life than with those who in their ignorance release death through their words and cause me unnecessary pressure. Not to say that I don’t encounter such people who still ask questions and make comments and suggestions, but that I no longer allow them to affect me.

It has taken my parents and siblings a while to accept that I’m no longer looking for a job because I’ve been called into ministry, and even though there is no logic explanation for where I’m at in life right now, they’ve released me to God.

As I have gone deeper in God, I have come to understand what He has been, and is doing in my life. I cannot quantify it in words; neither do I have a tangible thing to show, but a lot has changed since the day I landed to today, and much more is coming.

Waiting on and fully entrusting myself to God has been the hardest thing I’ve had to do in this season. I have cried, prayed, fasted and learnt to praise God even when I don’t understand…even when I’m hurt, even when I have no answer.

I’m certain that people questioned Abraham during the 25yrs he was waiting and trusting God to keep His word, and we know the suggestion his wife came up with. We know what Job’s wife and friends suggested when He lost everything and was facing affliction, and we also what Hannah went through in her bareness, being mocked by Penninah her co-wife. Noah must have been mocked as he built the ark and the woman with the issue of blood must have been told all manner of things concerning her condition.

I’m saying all this to say that, everyone is going through a process. It will take discernment to see what is happening in someone’s life in the spiritual realm. And even then, we cannot fully grasp what God is doing in someone’s life, so we have no right to antagonize them with our never-ending questions.  In my own experience, I have come to learn and accept this hard truth.

I’ve also learnt that: 

a.)    I do not owe anyone an explanation for my life,

b.)   God has His own timing of fulfilling His purpose, and He will do it in the fullness of time,

c.)    Not everything needs to be explained-God knows what he is doing,

And finally,

d.) Unless God has given me a specific word to speak to someone concerning their situation, I should keep my opinions to myself and mind my own business!

So like me if you’re in a season where you cannot explain what is going on, stick with God as only He knows what He has in store for you. Also be encouraged that, that you don’t see anything happening, doesn’t mean God’s not doing something.

Remember not to compare your life's journey to anyone else's, as yours is unique to you. The longest and toughest journeys are normally the most rewarding.

As for the rest of the world, you don’t owe anyone an explanation, and they should just mind their own business!